Being hit with custody paperwork is no fun at all. In fact, if you're not prepared, you may not even be able to afford an attorney. This was my reality. A once seemingly agreed-upon plan turned into a high-conflict custody battle, and when it happened, I had no idea who to turn to for help. I want to dive into some of the terms on the paperwork and into exactly what custody is. Let's get into it.
What is Custody?
Child custody is a legal term describing the relationship between a parent or guardian and the child they care for. Legal custody can be awarded when you petition the court. Click here for child custody forms by state.
Legal Custody: The right to make major decisions in your child's life, such as religious, medical, and educational decisions.
Joint Custody: Both parents make these major decisions together, assuming they can co-parent in the best interest of the child.
Physical Custody: Determines who the child lives with. For instance, joint custody may allow both parents the right to make certain major decisions, but only one parent may have physical custody.
Primary Custody
Primary custody, often referred to as primary physical custody or residential custody, designates the parent with whom the child lives most of the time. This parent is responsible for the day-to-day care and decisions affecting the child’s routine. While the term "primary custody" is broadly recognized, its legal implications and usage can vary by state. Some states might use different terminology or have specific statutes defining the roles and responsibilities associated with primary custody. It's crucial for parents to understand their state's specific laws and how they might impact custody arrangements.
Custody Rights for Unmarried Parents
In most states, if the parents are not married, the mother automatically has custody rights to the child. In other states, a single mother may have to file for legal custody even if she is not involved with the father. There are even states where joint custody is automatically assumed, and both unmarried parents have equal rights to the child. It is important to research your state's specific laws.
For fathers wanting custody: Click this link to get the appropriate state's form and petition the court.
Factors in Determining Child Custody
When determining child custody, each state has its own factors. Click here for information on what each state considers when awarding custody. For a more in-depth explanation, search "factors for child custody in (your state)."
Keeping the Child’s Best Interest in Mind
Remember, in a serious custody battle, it is not about you or the other parent; it is about the child. Ensure that you can provide the best environment for your child, prove you can co-parent in the child's best interest, and keep an open mind when considering the best arrangement for your child. Be honest with yourself about what you can and cannot do in the best interest of your child.
My Journey
I wrote this article because there was so much I was unaware of at the beginning of my fight for custody over two years ago. I want to offer all of my research to you, in one place to help you on your journey. If you have specific questions about your state or need more information, please feel free to join our growing community of empowered parents navigating child custody or leave a message on this blog.
I've created a podcast called "Visitation: Let's Talk Custody," which starts in October 2022. Every Monday, expect a new episode surrounding child custody, visitation, parental rights, and many other relevant topics. Follow my station and learn how you too, can survive a high-conflict custody battle.
This article is for informational use only and should be used as a guideline to aide in your research.
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