How to Cope with Losing Custody of your Child

Let's Talk Custody with Nicole Daniels

 

    This can be a very sensitive topic for mothers and fathers. So, before I begin, it's important that I tell you, just because you lose custody of a child, does not mean that you are a bad parent. You did your best at caring for your child. You are a good parent, and it may not be easy to accept what has happened, but you now have time to reflect and possibly reverse the court's ruling. How? With anparenting plan appeal within 30 days. 
    There are many different reasons aside from neglect and abuse, that a parent can lose custody. Every state determines custody using different factors. In a google search, look up factors to determine custody in your state. This will help you to understand why custody was transferred. Once you've determined the factor that caused the judge to make the decision, you can then work towards disproving or improving this factor.
    The most important thing you can do in this type of a situation is to move forward. I know that may sound harsh, but keep in mind I am not telling you to move on. Continue to love your children and spend time with them. Look over the parenting plan or whatever documents are in place for you to continue a relationship with your child and see how much time you have available. Take full advantage of every opportunity and you can add a Right to First Refusal Clause to have extra time to be with your child. I want you to keep in mind that with the more sadness you force yourself to experience without moving forward, the more sadness you will attract to you. Yes, this is a heartbreaking situation, and it's ok to feel sad but don't stay there. Remember. It does not have to be permanent. If it does end in a permanent transfer and you do not regain custody, you child still deserves for both parents to be in their lives. If you are being alienated from your child meaning, you time is denied and you can't continue a healthy relationship with your child due to the other parent or the others parent's significant other, click here to learn more about parental alienation.
    
    In order to start the healing process, you have to forgive yourself and understand that you did your best. I think when we focus on the negative side of the situation, it's hard to be grateful for the things we do have. Showing yourself an attitude of gratitude, can begin to turn your situation around. Instead of focusing on how your child no longer lives with you, focus on all the available time you have moving forward in time to spend with your child. Several things one can do to cope with losing custody of your child are as follows:
  • Start a hobby - distract your mind with things that make you feel happy
  • Talk with a therapist - learn to cope, get help on how to move forward and gain emotional health.
  • Confide in a friend - Sometimes we simply need to get things off our chest and vent to feel better.
  • Workout at home or in the gym - It's been scientifically proven that after exercise, our bodies release endorphins that make us feel good, which improves our mood.
  • Continue the relationship with your child - The change in living arrangements is not only hard for you, but it's hard for your child. Maintaining the relationship between you and your child may help the both of you transition easier.
Once you've began your journey to healing, you can then more successfully build a healthy relationship with your child.

    To sum, It's not the end of the world and it is still possible to reverse the ruling and get back custody of your child. If custody was established and no appeal was filed within the 30 day window, the courts normally will not make any changes to the order for a minimum of 1 to 2 years. At that point it's time to prove an extreme change of circumstances. Until then, simply figure out the factors that caused you to lose custody in the first place, and take steps to fix it. The major point is that you are providing the best possible environment for your child whether they are living with you or not.

Click follow and listen to my podcast to learn more about how you too, can survive a high conflict custody battle.

Other platforms where this podcast is available:

Need more personalized advice on handling your custody case? Schedule a Zoom call with me for tailored guidance and support. Together, we can work towards ensuring the best possible outcome for you and your child. >>>click here to schedule or email visitationpod@gmail.com and type free consultation in the subject line.


This article is for informational use only and should be used as a guideline to aide in your research.

0 Comments